Being 15

You get here
After all that waiting
and fuss
and dreaming
You get here.
Nothing will ever be truly perfect.

My dream.
I'm here.
Missing long dead feelings
I murdered.

I miss the excitement
of seeing a crush.
The tingling feeling you get
just knowing HE's behind you.
And when you laugh together
it seems as if all the roses in the world bloom in
that moment
I miss my innocence
at 15.

I miss knowing
that I had a place
of feeling warm and enclosed
in a gaggle of girls
And when you laugh together
it seems as if you have finally touched the sun after
flying through the endless blue.
I miss my innocence
at 15

True joy is foreign now.
Happiness is abundant.
Heart is cold,
weary of lies.
I smile,
Spreading joy I don't hold.
I pretend,
hoping pretend will become reality.
Oh! What is ease
at 15?

By M.R.